Check for a firmware update. There was a version that does what you are describing. They released an update to correct it though.

I already have firmware v1.0.6, which is the latest.

If I go to utilities and tell the machine to unload cartridge, it will go into the process to heat the extruder, but the extruder never starts heating, so it just stays showing room temperature until i turn off the machine.  It sometimes takes 5-6 power cycles and various ways of connecting to the computer and making sure XYZware is ON to get it to unload the cartridge.

I contacted xyz support,  but they weren't much help.   
The said:
"Please check the heater connector and motor connector is well connected to the nozzle.
Then please push down the release arm to pull the filament easier. "

Any ideas?

Check for a firmware update. There was a version that does what you are describing. They released an update to correct it though.

I contacted xyz support,  but they weren't much help.   
The said:
"Please check the heater connector and motor connector is well connected to the nozzle.
Then please push down the release arm to pull the filament easier. "

Any ideas?